Don't give up on your relationship! If you've seen other couples therapists and it hasn't helped, they probably weren't using Relational Life Therapy.
The RLT Basic Tenants:
- Intimate connectedness is your birthright and optimal state.
- Intimacy isn't something you have. It's something you do.
- There is a difference between individual empowerment vs relational empowerment.(I facilitate the latter.)
- RLT promotes "Full Respect Living."
- Intimacy is a "Relational Practice."
Here is how I use RLT to empower you to have the relationship you've been yearning for.
- First, I start by identifying the patterns that have you and your partner stuck. Almost all struggling couples get trapped in cycles of triggering each other's stuff. The more one does "x," the more the other does "y." The cycle escalates, and then you're relationship is in trouble. Many couples live like this for years. Some adjust to it and live in misery. Some separate or divorce. I offer a proven alternative. Identifying your pattern and the part you and your partner plays in it is absolutely essential to progressing toward getting back on track.
- Second, I help each partner see how they're contributing to the problem, and I help those who struggle to see their part. I do this compassionately, with empathy and understanding, but I make sure it gets done. (Epiphanies and better communication help but do not save relationships.)
- Third, once each partner owns their contribution to the problem, I teach new relational skills to replace the old patterns.
- Finally, I help couples set up the conditions for a successful future.
I suggest one 80-minute couples session a week for the first four weeks, and then switch to one session every other week. Typically, if a relationship is workable, it will turn around in about four months.